Interest

‘Alpha’ Males

The Gender Chronicles #1

Meredith Young • November 2, 2023

Humans love to make groups. We have a long history of creating groups and then fighting other groups. This is not an unnatural or inherently bad thing, it is usually helpful when distinguishing between different people and their different cultures. And while learning about different cultures is extremely important, it is one thing to learn, and one thing to assume.

We are socialized by assumptions and generalizations. We are told that this group of people is like this, and all of them are like that. While we may not be told that directly, it can be taught to us through subliminal messaging and generalizations we learn from adults.

By generalizing, we affirm a behavior that can easily be applied to something more serious and have worse consequences. This is similar to the common implication that men are naturally more violent than women. And while this implication definitely has a pattern to back it up, it does not acknowledge the nuance of the reason this is so.

These generalizations can be more harmful than we realize and by affirming this behavior within ourselves we unknowingly apply it to bigger things. Similarly, the conception that white people stereotype black people to all be criminals, and by making this behavior common, we don’t stop and ask why. Even though we might know why, knowing how that pattern is created is the first step toward fixing it.

I feel it’s important to talk about men’s issues because of how little attention they actually get, and while researching and learning about the issues that men face in our society, I saw my own biases within myself. As a queer woman, it would be commonplace for me to make fun of or stereotype straight men as all jerks or privileged losers, but this is extremely unfair. I didn’t know very much, I was just taking what the internet and society told me and not stopping to ask why. But once I started to ask why, I noticed something else.

‘Alpha’ males

Alpha males are considered to be men at the top of the social status hierarchy, with greater access to power, money, and partners. They gain status through physical strength, intimidation, and domination, being viewed by admirers as ‘real men’. Beta males are seen as the opposite of an alpha, and are therefore considered low status and only gain partners when women decide to settle down.

This crude view of our society stems from the patriarchal domination within the world. It is largely rationalized by the supposed scientific hierarchy that social animals, such as wolves and chimpanzees, form within their groups. The concept of alpha males originally stems from observing how animals interact with each other and form natural hierarchies but it fails to take into account that humans are an extremely advanced species that do not live by the base social hierarchy of animals. We are individuals, we have individual preferences that are not wholly based on our survival needs

Chimps, gorillas, and other monkeys are believed to have alpha males that dominate the group through strength and intimidation, but this leadership status is gained both through sociability as well as size and strength. Even then, some chimp groups, such as the Bonobos of the DRC, aren’t led by the male chimps, but the female ones. Applying the concept of alpha males to other social animals is completely idiotic.

Let us pretend that you can apply this hierarchy to humans, because people have, which causes untold amounts of danger. By generalizing the behavior of men into two categories, alpha and beta, this forces them to act in stereotypical ways. Since alphas are viewed with a positive association, men will want to act in a stereotypically alpha male way. This does not help them attract or sustain healthy relationships that make both partners happy. If you gain partners by threatening them and acting extremely aggressively, you are going to make your partner scared. Aggression and intimidation do not work in the long run in how our society is crafted. In fact, it’s been proven that for humans, the attainment of social status is better accomplished through compassion and cooperation.

A study from Duke University was conducted where undergraduate women were presented with a videotape and written scenarios depicting two men interacting with each other, which varied on whether the main character acted “dominant” or “nondominant”. The study revealed that “dominance” can take many different forms. The results also suggested that sensitivity, kindness, and empathy are more attractive when paired with dominant traits such as confidence and assertiveness. This directly disproves the claim that being a “macho” man is how you attract women and shows that men who are kind as well as confident are considered the “most” attractive to the average woman.

Social pressures

One day, in Chemistry Class, we had an opening question which was “What is your goal in life?”. I noticed that half the men in the class said to get rich, but half the women said to marry rich. At least everyone’s answer was somehow related to money, but I found it interesting that men wanted to get rich and women wanted to marry rich. Internalized misogyny and gender roles aside, the fact that half the men wanted to get rich as their entire life goal at the age of 15 to 18, indicates both our society’s materialistic pressures as well as the common pressure for men to be the providers. Even if these men just came up with that on the spot, it still indicates the subconscious pressure.

This is due to the patriarchal organization of our society, which gives men the overarching responsibility of providing, all the financial power. Although women have started to gain power and regain control, men feel the same amount of pressure as they did in the past. In 2016, a study of more than 4,500 people found that 76% of men feel pressured into providing for and supporting their families financially. This pressure leads men to focus intensely on earning money. Couple that with the growing materialistic culture and many young men are selling their souls for money in order to earn enough for their families in an economy that is only against them.

Society for years has expected men to be the main breadwinners in households. It is their job to make sure their families live comfortably. This puts an immense amount of pressure on young men, who grew up seeing their fathers work tirelessly and then grow up to feel the same pressure when they get families of their own. The responsibility that men have faced, as described above, also forces us to see men as strong and powerful figures. However, a side effect of this societal norm is that men are taught to swallow down their feelings. The pressure to “swallow your feelings” and bottle them up is unnatural. Yet still, many men are still mocked for showing emotions that are associated with feminity. They suppress their deep emotions in order to avoid public ridicule, remembering that they must be a “man”, and must not cry… Men are constantly told by their surroundings and people that they should not be emotional, they have to be strong and stoic. They can not succumb to depression or anxiety, they have to have strong mental health and can not break down. They are never supposed to complain about their problems, no matter how unbearable they are. You either fix it or shut up.

As someone who is most definitely a very emotional person, this is completely foreign to me. I have always shown my feelings and not been ashamed of feeling what I feel. What I did not know is that this is a privilege I have as a woman. Men do not have this ability to cry in public or find solace in others. They do not have this privilege that I have taken for granted. And that genuinely disgusts me.

Percentage of U.S. men who received mental health treatment or counseling in the past year from 2002 to 2021

More men kill themselves every year than women and while women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men, men’s depression will often go undiagnosed. Women find therapists to help with their issues, but men usually don’t. Societal expectations are that it’s odd for men to find help to regulate their emotions, which causes them to suffer.

This causes even further harm when men are sexually assaulted or raped. Due to the power patriarchy gives men, it’s very easy for them to take advantage sexually of women. Men are largely seen as perpetrators of rape and sexual assault. This blinds us to the fact that 1 out of 10 rape victims are men. There is about 325k reported rapes a year, that is about 32,500 men who are raped, and probably laughed off or dismissed.

This ignorant view ignores the reality of what a disgusting crime rape can be. Many survivors freeze up during the process, due to it being absolutely terrifying and confusing. Many are drugged or passed out drunk. It also ignores that men can rape other men, which is constantly played off for jokes in the context of men going to prison. Anyone can be raped, it’s not a “if I was strong enough” or “if I was smart enough” type of deal. It’s a disgusting crime, and yet, men are not taken seriously when it happens to them.

Men should not be seen as a “group” with distinct qualities that all of them have. They should be treated as individuals first, and with their own unique needs and qualities. That is how everyone should be treated, we are not all a hivemind. We are just us.

How do we make this better?

By viewing men as a group of perpetrators, powerful, the enemy, and always physically and emotionally strong, we unknowingly cultivate this identity in many men as self-sufficient providers. They create coping mechanisms to deal with the loneliness and pressure this view creates, such alpha males. Knowing the reason for the creation of alpha male identities is the first step towards minimizing the problem and behavior. When we treat men as individuals, and not as a group as a whole, we start understanding each other.

We can not fix how living in a patriarchal society has shaped our culture. But the first step would be to have some introspection and think, why do I think this? By questioning our surroundings, we take the first step to change. And by taking that first step down a path that will hopefully allow us as a society to stop telling boys to repress their feelings. Once we ask the question, we can find the answer, and once we find the answer we can work towards making sure it’s minimized. We can raise our kids to have the ability to cry without fear of judgment, no matter what gender. We can raise our young boys to not believe they have to get rich and raise our young girls to not believe they have to marry rich.

By acknowledging individuality, you also acknowledge prejudice and judgment within yourself, and hopefully, we’ll work towards fixing that and being a better and kinder person. Self-improvement sounds like a lot of work, but it can be as simple as just asking why. This can be applied to so many situations within our society, and I can not stress enough to you how important it really is just to question things. It helps us become more understanding and thoughtful people. Change has to start with you asking why.